Better late then never

-Members recollect

This is an inspiring and moving account as narrated during one of Sudatta’s recent sharing sessions. This couple spoke about their struggles and strengths in the journey of parenting; their daughter is now a young adult.

Though adoptive parents are encouraged to be open about the fact of adoption with their child, one particular couple never got around to it. The acceptance and love shown by their daughter is a lesson for all of us.

“We have been members of SuDatta right from the beginning, then called Adoptive Parents Association. We participated regularly in most SuDatta activities in the early years. People spoke about telling and we thought that was alright. But somehow we kept putting off telling our daughter that we had adopted her.

Dr. Saraswati would often encourage us to go go ahead. We were afraid that our child would be hurt about her birth parents, or reject us as her real parents,” the gentleman shared.

His wife added, “We did not hide it totally, her adoption records were always within easy access and maybe we hoped that she might find out herself if she read them. But her not knowing, led to some awkward situations. Once, for a class project, her teacher had asked for my daughter’s baby photo. As we obviously did not have it, I gave her a picture of my nephew, hoping she wouldn’t realize the difference.”

But the truth will prevail.

“One day, my daughter at the age of 14, asked us herself if she was adopted, and with tears in our eyes, we admitted the fact. She was so accepting…”

“…she almost counselled us and assured us that she could never think of anyone else as her real parents. She could not believe that we had feared she would leave us or reject us,” they recounted.

And when had this child realized or suspected that she was adopted?

“She said that she had known it for a long time, but could not remember when or how she became certain. She even knew about the baby photo! We apologized to her, saying we never meant to conceal her status from her.”

We listened with rapt attention, admiration and humility.