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  • Adoption in India, Vinita Bhargava
  • Adopting a Child, Rene Hoksbergen
  • Family for every child, CSA
  • Your Story, IAPA

Talking about Adoption with Educators

posted Sep 9, 2013, 3:41 AM by ThinkClickGet Admin   [ updated Oct 16, 2013, 10:29 AM ]

 

Sudatta Publications

 

Talking about Adoption with Educators: Experiences from Families and Classrooms in India

SuDatta Bangalore is proud to present a booklet titled 'Talking about Adoption with Educators: Experiences from Families and Classrooms in India'. The booklet was released at SuDatta's 'Adoption and Education' workshop, held in November 2008.


This is a valuable resource for educators, school staffrooms and libraries in India, for information about adoption and adoptive families. It includes:

  • A compilation of real-life experiences from Indian families and classrooms
  • A section on how children understand adoption at different ages
  • Suggestions on some classroom strategies for differently composed families
  • An introduction to Positive Adoption Language in the Indian context
  • Some useful Web and book resources

The booklet is priced at Rs 30/- and is availabe at all SuDatta events. Further enquiries can be made with Ms. Sheela Kamath at sudatta@sudatta.org

 


Different Strokes

posted Sep 9, 2013, 3:33 AM by ThinkClickGet Admin   [ updated Sep 9, 2013, 3:36 AM ]




Different Strokes




-A New Mother   
 

After all, adoption is just another way of starting a family. And FAMILY just means one thing, Father And Mother-I Love You!!

Adoption has been my most rewarding life experience. Bangalore city has a very progressive outlook -people are not too conservative, they have an open and positive approach to a sensitive issue like adoption. We were lucky as we didn’t have to field too many questions from neighbors; they were friendly but not inquisitive. However, several people expressed their sympathy openly (and apologized for even asking); when we said we had no children. Relatives thought we were plunged in sorrow due to our childless state.

A new adoptive mother describes how society assumed adoption to be her last option. Having adopted children in her extended family had actually made adoption a first option for this mother. She found support and understanding in SuDatta during the wait for her baby and afterward too.
“You’re lucky to be childless”

In a country like India, where too much importance is given to progeny, we were the scapegoats of anyone who chose to elaborate on the subject and offer unwanted advice. A few lady colleagues cheekily said that I was lucky not to have kids! I was a free bird, they enthused-I could pursue my career without any family responsibilities. An elderly lady who resided in an old age home that I once visited, (her children had deserted her) actually said that I was blessed to be childless, she too wished she had no children! A close friend advised me to try all medical alternatives first-as far as possible to try to have a biological child-adoption, she said, must be the very last option; when all else failed!

Adoption- My first option

But adoption was one of my very first options, not the last, as many people assumed. Many of my cousins had adopted kids, they were very loving, affectionate and devoted to their parents. I had seen them grow into responsible adults. This definitely helped me take this decision early in life. God’s gifts may be a little delayed, but there is never darkness in His realm. When He closes all doors, He always leaves a window open. It is also He who gives us the strength and courage to find that window in time.

Adoption Support in India

During the long wait before we got our baby, I learnt quite a lot about the adoption process. I joined a yahoo chat group called Adoption Experiences. This encouraged me to be optimistic and stay motivated. During Adoption Awareness Week, I read an interesting newspaper article that gave details about various adoption agencies in India. I mailed some senior people in the field, who were very nice, answered my queries patiently, and gave me valuable guidance. My spouse was extremely supportive right from the beginning, which I’m thankful for.

We joined SuDatta-an adoptive families support group in Bangalore. Their parent preparation workshop (meant for aspiring parents) was very useful. SuDatta makes us feel that we are part of a large extended family, which has something in common binding all of us. We as adoptive parents really felt the need for a support group to take us through tough times and unexpected difficulties that can crop up (and of course to share the good times as well!). Only people who have been through the same experience can fathom our feelings during the adoption process and afterwards. It’s great knowing that as our children grow up, they can share views and discuss issues with their peer group adoptees. SuDatta is a platform where we can voice our opinions freely without being criticized or misunderstood.

A Mother at Last!

I still vividly remember the day we went to see our baby. We were full of excitement and trepidation, our hearts beating wildly. The first time I held the baby in my arms was the proudest moment of my life-I had become a mother! Then, there was a sense of calm and fulfillment. We had reached the end of our rollercoaster ride; our emotions swinging between two extremes-we were smiling through our tears; laughing and crying at the same time!

And life was never the same again...

The morning on which the baby was to come home, we awoke with a strange mixture of thrill and nervousness. This was something that neither if us had felt before. It was a new dawn-a new beginning for us! We felt we had been given a second chance to start life afresh-forget all past fears and insecurities. My long-cherished dream of adopting a child was coming true at last. We had spent a sleepless night, yet were raring to go!

The baby brought into our home more happiness than we had thought ourselves capable of feeling. We now realized how empty our lives had been without a child. Friends and relatives thronged to see the long-awaited addition to the family. It was a momentous occasion; I felt triumphant, proud and cheerful.


What we do

posted Sep 9, 2013, 3:13 AM by ThinkClickGet Admin   [ updated Sep 9, 2013, 3:20 AM ]

 


Helping ourselves and others
 

SuDatta started as a small group of couples who had been looking out to meet with families with the same difference- adoption.

The SuDatta family members all built their families through adoption. We have all grown, learnt and shared like members of any family would.

Whenever needed the group members reached out to each other. They telephoned the other when the day’s work was done to:

  • Talk
  • Listen
  • Normalise their anxieties
  • Exchange parenting tips with each other

They occasionally met the other family over a cup of coffee or tea. They met at their first annual picnic as a large group.

Members shared books and literature to gather information and help themselves. They shared their parenting and adoption experiences and appreciated the strengths and resolve others demonstrated. They invited professionals from the field of education, psychology and art to learn and reflect more about their roles and responsibilities as parents.

Setting realistic expectations of ourselves and our children is a value that SuDatta greatly encourages.

Soon SuDatta was developing its own base of resources.

  • One member went on to create and conduct parent preparation modules.
  • Another is an influence to contend with in law enforcement.
  • One couple found meaning in doing outreach programmes with a children’s home and created bridges with institutions.
  • Two members found their calling in special needs education.
  • Another went on to become a therapist with special interest in attachment issues.
  • One member volunteered in Child Welfare and has become an Adoption Consultant.
  • Yet another member has realised her dream of contributing to the NGO sector’s need for customised organisation of their financial systems.
Sharing sessions are now a routine sometimes facilitated by counsellors within the group and sometimes by individuals from other centres. Members participate and take initiatives as and when their time and interests permit.

What is most heartening is that with all this openness our children have formed their own voices and we are proud to be their parents.


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